The Place that Sucks

You've all been there...you're cruising along, looking for something to eat. Then you see it, like a diamond glimmering in the sea sand. That [quaint, cool, hip, etc.] little place off the beaten path, or maybe it's hid in plain site. Either way, you know from the looks of the place that it will rock your world.

Then you walk in. You've just confirmed everything you thought. This place has all the elements you're looking for. You take a look at the menu, price is right, choices are right, vibe is right. You order.

Then you wait.

Then the food arrives, and you scratch your head. It doesn't look like it matches up. There's something off. Maybe it's not pretty. Maybe there's an odd smell. Maybe it reminds you of something...a cafeteria? A Taco Bell? An outhouse? A public pier? You're trying to figure it out, but something is clearly wrong.

Then you take a bite and confirm that something is definitely wrong.

What's funny to me is most places that hit the food on the money look like crap on the outside. Misspelled menu items. Chipped paint. Dirty forks. But the food, the food is out of this world. But when it goes the other way, you just can't figure it out.

How can a restaurant pull off a look, a vibe, a feeling that pulls you in...and then have food that sucks?? It's not right.

Please, if you're going to have a restaurant and your food is going to suck, at least have your place look sucky too. Otherwise, you trick us.

A & J Rocks Irvine

I'm easing into a series on restaurants. Today is as good a day as any, so I'll start with A & J restaurant in Irvine. This is authentic Taiwanese food (yes, I've been - Taiwan and A&J) and it's dirt cheap. There are plenty of good write-ups on Yelp and I'd agree with most of them.

It's not the cleanest looking place, but you can't beat the food. As noted, the spicy beef noodle soup is bomb. Other items of note: pan fried dumplings, sour & spicy noodles (or wontons), tofu with peanuts, spicy hot cucumber, pan fried meat bun, green onion pancake, fried pork chop, and, of course, anything on the breakfast menu.

They're located South of the 5 freeway on Jeffrey Road. Across the street is 99 Ranch Market and a bank, so spend the day.

Brock